Once, many years ago, a dear friend asked me to share my favorite quote, which was easy: "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." That won out over "Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!" and "For every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. You find the fun and 'Snap!' the job's a game."
Of course, me being me, that request spurred me to start jotting all my favorites down until I had a bountiful list, which I now share with you before it grows even longer. These excerpts are not in order of importance, although they do start and end that way. Taken together, they present a fun script or dynamic dialogue to present at family gatherings, coffee shops, hotel lounges, wedding lines, choir lofts, airliner cabins, jury boxes, jail cells... the possibilities are endless, especially as you start guessing exactly where the quotes came from! Let's begin:
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
May the hairs on your toes never fall out.
It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it’s the pebble in your shoe.
You see, boys forget what their country means by just reading "the land of the free" in history books. Then they get to be men and they forget even more. Liberty's too precious a thing to be buried in books, Miss Saunders. Men should hold it up in front of them every single day of their lives and say: "I'm free to think and to speak. My ancestors couldn't, I can, and my children will." Boys ought to grow up remembering that.
You know, this is precisely why I loathed being a teacher! Young people are so infernally convinced they are absolutely right about everything. Has it not occurred to you, my poor puffed-up popinjay, that there might be an excellent reason why the headmaster of Hogwarts is not confiding every tiny detail of his plans to you? Have you ever paused, while feeling hard-done by, to note that following Dumbledore's orders has never yet led you into harm? No. No, like all young people, you are quite sure that you alone feel and think, you alone recognize danger, you alone are the only one clever enough to realize what the Dark Lord may be planning.
What's up, Doc?
If that plane leaves the ground and you're not with him, you'll regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.
The pellet with the poison is in the vessel with the pestle. The flagon with the dragon has the brew that is true.
This must be what going mad feels like.
Don’t count the days; make the days count.
Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. For even the very wise cannot see all ends.
Fascinating.
When you're lonely and you feel like the whole world is falling on you, you just reach out, you just cry out to Jesus!
Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.
No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Is there anybody out there?
You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind; a journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That's the signpost up ahead — your next stop, the Twilight Zone!
Wherever I have been, I am back.
For only he who has lived in darkness truly knows and values the light.
Live everyday as if it were your last because someday you're going to be right.
I shaved my beard for you, devil woman!
I say it's duck season, and I say, "Fire!"
Wait a minute!
You're desthpicable!
Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!
I have seen a land bright with truth, where a man's word is his pledge and falsehood is banished, where children sleep safe in their mothers' arms and never know fear or pain. I have seen a land where kings extend their hands in justice rather than reach for the sword, where mercy, kindness and compassion flow like deep water over the land, and men revere virtue, revere truth, revere beauty, above comfort, pleasure or selfish gain. A land where peace reigns in the hearts of men, where faith blazes like a beacon from every hill and love like a fire from every hearth, where the True God is worshiped and His ways acclaimed by all.
He may look like an idiot, and talk like an idiot, but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
Where's the kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom!
You're going to need a bigger boat.
Home is where you hang your hat.
And now for something completely different.
It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know. Then we tried to remove the tusks. The tusks. That's not so easy to say. Tusks. You try it some time. As I say, we tried to remove the tusks. But they were embedded so firmly we couldn't budge them. Of course, in Alabama the Tuscaloosa, but that is entirely ir-elephant to what I was talking about.
No, this must be what going mad feels like.
Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.
Earl Gray, hot.
Make it so.
Are you a poofta?
We are just too pretty for God to let us die.
Jesus wept.
Rosebud.
Dinsdale? DINSDALE?
Here's looking at you, kid.
For every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. You find the fun and "Snap!" The job's a game.
We are here today to raise the flag of victory over the capital of our greatest adversary. We must remember that we are raising it in the name of the people of the United States, who are looking forward to a better world, a peaceful world, a world in which all the people will have an opportunity to enjoy the good things of life, and not just a few at the top. Let us not forget that we are fighting for peace, and for the welfare of mankind. We are not fighting for conquest. There is not one piece of territory or one thing of a monetary nature that we want out of this war. We want peace and prosperity for the world as a whole. We want to see the time come when we can do the things in peace that we have been able to do in war. If we can put this tremendous machine of ours, which has made victory possible, to work for peace, we can look forward to the greatest age in the history of mankind. That is what we propose to do.
My friends, esteemed colleagues, noble patrons, and honored guests, I leave you with this: when next you turn your eyes to the vast reaches of heaven, gentlemen, you would be well advised to remember that not only is it far more magnificent than the human mind can fathom, it is far more subtle. All the universe is permeated, upheld, knit together, conjoined, encompassed, and contained by the Elemental Ether, which we recognize as an all-pervading, responsive, and intelligent field of energy, eternal and inexhaustible, which is nothing less than the ground of our very being and the wellspring of our existence — that which in ages past and present men have been pleased to call God.
Men of Athens, I perceive that in all things you are very religious; for as I was passing through and considering the objects of your worship, I even found an altar with this inscription: TO THE UNKNOWN GOD. Therefore, the One whom you worship without knowing, Him I proclaim to you: God, who made the world and everything in it, since He is Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands. Nor is He worshiped with men’s hands, as though He needed anything, since He gives to all life, breath, and all things. And He has made from one blood every nation of men to dwell on all the face of the earth, and has determined their preappointed times and the boundaries of their dwellings, so that they should seek the Lord, in the hope that they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us; for in Him we live and move and have our being, as also some of your own poets have said, ‘For we are also His offspring.’ Therefore, since we are the offspring of God, we ought not to think that the Divine Nature is like gold or silver or stone, something shaped by art and man’s devising. Truly, these times of ignorance God overlooked, but now commands all men everywhere to repent, because He has appointed a day on which He will judge the world in righteousness by the Man whom He has ordained. He has given assurance of this to all by raising Him from the dead.
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.
Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.
Blessed are the pure of heart, for they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God.
Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.
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